Solace
by Ava Cabot
Summary: Post Starcrossed. John clings to a memento of his past with Shayera.


Ava Cabot

Solace

A Justice League fic

A/N: Major spoilers for Starcrossed. "And he only cried a little, because he knew that his tears could never mend their broken hearts."

Disclaimer: I own everything. Just kidding.

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John Stewart didn't remember last night too clearly. And what he does remember is foggy, because the first thing he did was to get stone-cold drunk after Hawkgirl flew off into the sunset, leaving him a broken man.

Vaguely, he recalls staring into the sun, his tears clouding the blinding light. She was gone from his sight in a matter of moments, fading into the same sunset that he should've left him blind. He raised his ring, enveloping himself in the pale green light that enabled him to fly. His right leg was poised to go after her, and somehow convince the woman he still loved that she belonged with him, not alone on a journey of self-discovery.

He doesn't know how long he stood at the sea cliff. It must've been hours, because by the time J'onn and Diana had come to collect him, stars had begun to sparkle in the sky. The water was crashing in violent waves before him, and the spiky rocks below looked deathly promising. J'onn seemed to realize that, and gently pulled him away from a disastrous lover's fate. The three of them returned to Wayne Manor, to start a new chapter in the story that was the Justice League.

John listened with half-interest; frankly, he didn't care what happened to the League. They could disband or recruit a few hundred new members, it didn't matter.

That night he shaved his head, letting his beard grow out about two weeks later. With every motion he made with the razor, it was like letting a piece of Shayera go, along with everything people thought they knew about that Green Lantern.

Kilowag stopped by a few times, carrying giant quarts of Bob and Terry's ice cream to soothe his broken heart. Whenever John brought up Katma, Kilowag vaguely mentioned that she was fine, quickly changing the subject. John had already suffered one broken heart; bringing up memories with Kat would've only made his life more miserable.

Though frankly, he didn't see how things could get worse.

All he could think about was her. John would sit in his Watchtower quarters alone, slowly consuming boxes of Bob and Terry's. Halfway through his third container of Triple Chocolate Chunky Delight, he realized that he was sick. Not just because he'd eaten more ice cream than a small elephant could, but because he couldn't get over Shayera.

It was almost pitiful how people treated him for a few weeks. There goes John Stewart, the Green Lantern stupid enough to love a traitor. Poor John Stewart, he fell for a spy, who exploited his and his teammates' secrets. Poor, sappy John Stewart.

And night after night he asked himself that same question. Why did he love her? Was it the way she laughed at his jokes? Or when she threatened to pummel Wally after he told a bad joke? Maybe it was how beautiful she looked in the dark, her wings extended to their full length, her hair gently falling over her face, covering a single green eye. She always had a smile for him.

John knew he couldn't remain an angry lover forever. Everyone was telling him to move on. The original members of the League, without Hawkgirl of course, told him that loving her was never his fault. People changed, and sometimes their true personalities weren't always honest.

Here he sat near the window, staring off literally into space. The eastern part of the Earth began to glow, as the sun rose on one side of the planet, and sank on another. The Earth looked like a small crystal, light cascading over each rotund angle. If Shayera were still his, she would've loved to see the sight.

In his hands he cradled a heavy mask, running his hand across the golden top that matched the sun. Sunlight reflected off, sending rays shooting across the walls of his quarters.

Her mask was the only thing he had left, other than a few pieces of his heart that still remained with her. No one knew he kept her old costume and this mask underneath his bed, waiting patiently everyday for her to return and claim them back.

That notion was put down by his sub-conscious, which nastily reminded him that she was probably never coming back. The Earth was a large place, and she could remain hidden for as long as she pleased.

Even if that meant forever.

He hugged the mask close to his chest, trying to catch any scent of her hair that still remained. Nothing caught his nose, and he slowly began to cry.

But he only cried a little, for the woman he thought he loved was never truly his.

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Word count: 819


End file.
